Sunday, July 30, 2006

Put Your Lips together and ....

Is Kissing purely instinctual or something that can be learned? Is it the action that best summarizes or captures the individual doing the kissing or does it capture the person he wants to present?

I’d never really given much thought to the different styles or manners of kissing. One put one’s lips on another’s lips, softly if one knew what she was doing, and slowly explored, letting instinct take over. For the past two decades that has been more than enough to get by, with marvelous results. Perhaps I was unbelievably fortunate that the men I kissed then were gifted and practiced. Certainly I'd experienced on more than one occasion that delightful sensation of melting into another body, blissfully unaware of anything outside the gentle exploration and exchange of lips and tongues that best describes in my inadequate words what it feels like to be truly well kissed.

Why raise the subject now? I’ve ventured out into the online dating world. The whys and wherefores are something for another post (if ever) but I've had the opportunity (for lack of a better word) to kiss and be kissed by a handful of men.

If I were cruel and handed out grades, none would rate higher than a C (remember when that was the average grade, well before grade inflation?) and most far lower. Even a geek, literary or otherwise, has standards. Let's discuss:

1) Tongues should not be used as assault weapons nor as battering rams.

2) Tongues are not a means of entry to another's mouth. Proper demonstration of lip on lip kissing will often yield a willing parting of the lips.

3) After achieving a willing parting of the lips, remember that tongues are not assault weapons, nor should they be waved around inside someone else's mouth to demonstrate that you are armed.

4) For anyone who hasn't seen the pertinent episode of "Sex And the City," licking the face is just gross. Don't even go there.

5) For God's sake, slow down. This is supposed to be enjoyable, not a task to be completed on MS Project.

And not to put the pressure on, but kissing well is the ultimate litmus test. Bad kissers don't get sent to the principal's office, they get sent home. Alone. Which is perhaps why I'm finding them on the online site in the first place.


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10:56 AM  

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